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MyGoddessWithin

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Not gone, just quiet [May. 20th, 2009|12:59 am]
MyGoddessWithin
[mood |anxiousanxious]

Tomorrow (or, judging by the fact that it's after midnight- today) I will be admitted to the hospital for an overnight induction of labor. These babies will be born Thursday. The most recent estimate of their weights leaves us with the idea that they will each be around the 6.5lb range. That is a great weight for twins.

It doesn't escape me the irony of months of bedrest ended by induction. However, doctors are not comfortable allowing twins (especially with a gestational diabetic mother) to go past 37 weeks- which I will be exactly tomorrow- er, today.

So, our lives are about to change in a big way but, I still can't see past labor and delivery at this point. There are so many unknowns and variables that I feel like I can't look toward the future with these babies until they are safely in our arms.

To start with, though, last Friday when the OB checked I was fingertip dilated, 50% effaced, and -1 station. So, it looks favorable for induction- at least my cervix is starting to change. The OB said he could feel Baby A's head through the cervix already. So, that's a great sign of our collective readiness to get this show on the road. I've been having some contractions though, nothing regular. But, I hope that it has been enough to progress me a bit more before they start laying the drugs on me. We shall see.

I guess this is it for my "before" posts.

See you on the flip side.
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Small update [Mar. 22nd, 2009|01:41 am]
MyGoddessWithin
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

Baby A weighs 2lb 9oz and Baby B weighs 2lb 10oz as of my last ultrasound at 28 weeks exactly.

Both babies are boys.

I'm on bedrest since my cervix just hasn't gotten the message about proper behavior.

I've been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes but, it's fairly mild as those things go. I'm still on insulin, though.

I've missed all my baby education and childbirth classes due to the bedrest and that really makes me sad.

I can't believe that I'm going to be a Mother in just a few weeks. Granted, it's about 8.5 weeks but, still- when you think it will never happen, having it be 8.5 weeks away is short.

Of course, that's 8.5 weeks of bedrest so, it won't *seem* that short.
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Holy Crap [Jan. 9th, 2009|05:34 pm]
MyGoddessWithin
We just bought baby bedding.

Baby bedding
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There's no good way to lead up to this.... [Oct. 24th, 2008|06:13 pm]
MyGoddessWithin
[mood |touchedAwestruck]

I tried thinking of a clever way to say this. Something maybe that befitted how important and wonderful this is. Something that can express how scared we are but, how blessed we feel. How excited we are.

I tried to think of a way to cleverly tie in the details without creating a bulleted list of facts. But, the cleverness eludes me.

The only thing I *do* have is what I really need:

A husband who loves me no matter what and 2 small babies with heartbeats in my uterus.

At 7 weeks and 2 days today, we had our second ultrasound and both babies are right on track- measuring exactly as they should.

And I have to pinch myself. Over and over and over. Whose life is this? Can it really be me who has been blessed with these small creatures which are (as yet) so alien to us but so cherished in our hearts?
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A new angle for Hallmark [May. 11th, 2008|09:27 pm]
MyGoddessWithin
DH: "I don't think that Hallmark makes a card for 'Happy Infertile Couple's Day'."

Me: "Nope."
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(no subject) [May. 10th, 2008|01:49 pm]
MyGoddessWithin
[mood |hotHot and sweaty]

Speaking of The Firm DVDs, I always wear my heart rate monitor to keep track of the number of calories I'm burning. Today, being Saturday, I decided to fit in a seriously long workout session.

Many of The Firm DVDs have an "express" option. A 55 minute DVD cut down to 25 minutes by just playing select sections of each. Today, I did the express version of 3 of the DVDs I have. 3!!

What was I thinking? Now, I'm a limp rag.

However, I did burn 727 calories. Nothin' to shake a stick at.
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Life [May. 9th, 2008|12:37 am]
MyGoddessWithin
I wish that I were more capable of keeping this journal current and at least somewhat witty and not completely mind numbingly boring. But, it seems that I'm just reduced, at this point, to a summary of key events.


First, I have been accepted to the local community college as a non-degree seeking student in order to begin my requirements for the nursing program. I get more points toward my nursing school appliation for the classes that I complete.

I did register for a couple of classes but, I have since decided to wait until we get back from the Czech Republic to start. It seems that these two goals are really competing for space in my brain and, I'm incapable of working toward both at the same time. I'll wait until I get back to start and, I hope to begin nursing school (after going through the testing and application process- I hope I get accepted!) in January of 2010.

Of course, that's all a mute point if we get pregnant in the Czech Republic. I just heard today that the head of the clinic has left to work closer to his family somewhere in Slovakia, I think. I hear that the other doctor is very good, too, but, it does sort of take away that "smooth sailing" sort of feeling to have a completely different doctor for the cycle. There are a few months left before we leave to see how the new doctor handles things.

Also, we got our passports a few weeks ago. DH also got a carry on bag for the plane and, we are in the process of looking for a laptop- both to take with us on the trip and for me to use for school.

I'm still doing Weight Watchers. So far, I've lost 23.5 lbs and 22 inches doing The Firm DVDs. It's a lot of work but, totally worth the effort.

We have a wedding and family reunion to go to in June. I'm hoping to be a big hit with the fabulous progress I've made with my weight loss by then. I'm hoping to be in a new, smaller sized, dress by the wedding!

Work is....workish. The economy still sucks and that means that business isn't that fabulous. But, we're still managing to save the money for our trip even though it isn't as easy as it used to be. We're almost there. We'll even be a little ahead of schedule for our savings.



So, that's what's been going on so far with my life. Maybe I'll be better with posting in the future. Or, maybe not. We'll see, won't we?
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I'm a Princess! [Mar. 29th, 2008|11:27 am]
MyGoddessWithin

Find Out Which Disney Girl You Are!
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Belle

Dancing furniture, singing spoons, and a man who needs a serious haircut - sound familiar? Well it should! Belle was a very independent spirit with alot on her mind, much like you are! But in life, there is a needed balance - learn when to speak your mind, and when to hold it back. Sometimes offending someone isn't the best way to go!

Belle

79%

Jane

75%

Cinderella

71%

Tinkerbell

67%

Violet

58%

Pocahontas

58%

Esmerelda

54%

Megara

50%

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

46%

Snow White

42%

Ariel

42%

Jasmine

38%

Alice

33%

Mulan

29%
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Plans [Mar. 21st, 2008|12:07 am]
MyGoddessWithin
You know how they say that dreams have no hope of becoming reality unless they are voiced to others? Well, at least I *think* they say that.

DH and I were talking seriously tonight about what happens if our last ditch baby making effort fails. More and more I've been thinking about how I took the job as a hairstylist because it was enjoyable but, mostly, because it would be the perfect job for a Mom. Flexible, part time, and well paying even for relatively few hours. I find it somewhat unsatisfying on some level, though. It lacks intellectual stimulation and it lacks a certain.....I don't know. Something about how it feels a bit superficial.

Before any hairstylists reading this get their bobby pins in a twist, I don't mean to say that it isn't an important job. We all feel good when we look fabulous. But, I just don't feel that deep sense of fulfillment. For me, I would have gotten that sense from being a mother. So, I wouldn't need it at work and I would have the perfect setup.

But, without motherhood, what would my life be, really? I have to really think about that and what type of life I want to lead and who I want to be apart from all of this infertility treatment.

So, I've decided (or, we've decided) that if I am not to be a mother, I'd like to be another type of caregiver- a nurse.

I have always had a love of the medical field and, in fact, began college with the intention of being pre-med. It doesn't really bear repeating the story of why I didn't end up there. Also, I daresay I have a flair for it.

I remember the nurses who have been so kind and caring to me throughout this journey and it's one of my fondest dreams to provide that care and comfort to those who are in need like I was. There are nurses I'll never forget because they were there when I needed someone most in scary medical situations.

Maybe I'll even be an IVF nurse. What a full circle that would be.

So there it is. I've laid one of my dreams bare for the masses. Well, I guess I'm not sure what sort of masses actually read this journal. But, regardless, it's released to the Universe, this dream of mine.

May what is willed be so.
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Exchange on Palm Sunday [Mar. 16th, 2008|06:08 pm]
MyGoddessWithin
[mood |sillysilly]

DH: "I got some palms from Church this morning."

Me: "Lucky me. Just what I've always wanted- yard waste I can't ever throw away."
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